The short-lived interest in mermaids, dresses, skirts, princesses and other girlie stuff

Well Kisae isn't going to be a Mermaid for Halloween. The interest in the pink mermaid costume proved to be fleeting.

She is now going to be Spiderman or Batman -- "I save the day!" -- or a dinosaur, all of which are in the costume box (Ben hand-me-downs). They are frugal options, at least.

She did briefly say the other night, while looking at a brochure for a local children's theatre production, that she wanted to be a princess. But that lasted just a few minutes.

It is much the same with dresses and skirts. She put on a skirt a few times this week but took it off almost as soon as she got it on.

She wore a dress out to dinner last weekend (it was Orange, her favorite color) at the Ethiopian restaurant, but that was only because when she changed her mind, we said, Oh it's time to go. And we left the house.

She didn't seem to mind the dress, really. And it's not like we really cared if she wore it, but I bought it (because she said she liked the orange), so I wanted to get at least a little use out of it.

And she did look cute, though it's hard to tell in the photos because I only got an assortment of odd faces and poses.

Friday Treasure

Friday is treasure day at Ben's after-school program, meaning kids who've been good get to pick something (think Happy Meal-like toy) from the treasure box. Fairly silly and Ben doesn't much care anymore (it's really for the younger kids).

But Kisae, who is not enrolled in this program, has both figured out that a) Friday is treasure day and b)that the staff will let her pick something from the box just because, well, she's cute.

So now she asks me several times during the week on our drive from her school to Ben's, "It Friday?" and when I finally say, yes, it's Friday she says, "Treasure!"

It was kind of embarrassing the other week when the usual staff person wasn't there, and I had to explain to someone else, yeah, I know she's only 3 and doesn't go here, but she gets Treasure.

I growing so tall!

These photos are from a month ago (and not the best). But lately Chakisae has been saying, "I growing so tall!" and insisting she's up to Ben's shoulders. She's not, not really even close. But she does suddenly seem taller, a bit stretched out, a bit less like a baby.

My mom gave her these stacking blocks right when she came home. She liked playing with them but couldn't make a tower by herself, of course. It is pretty amazing that now she can stack them all up -- and add a few more to the top for good measure.

She is definitely growing.

Sweet

As I was driving both kids to school the other day:

Kisae (to Ben): Why you grabbing my arm?
Ben: I'm not grabbing it. I'm just holding it because I love you.
(I couldn't see from the front but I think Kisae made some kind of face).
Ben: I still love you.
Kisae: I a skunk!
Ben: I still love you.
Kisae: We all a skunk family!
Ben: I still love you!

Flack for a missed nap

Chakisae is at that age where she'd really, truly prefer not to nap. But she still really, truly needs a nap. And she still sleeps more than an hour for the naps she insists she doesn't need.

Most of the time, we get just a few complaints. You know the, "I not sleepy! I not want to nap! I not tired! Look at my eyes!" Then, grumbling, she agrees to read and after a book or two, usually says "good night" and goes to sleep without too much complaint.

Sometimes, there is more complaining and even yelling but fortunately not too often.

Sunday, she didn't get a nap. This was my fault. By the time, my friend and I made plans to take the kids to a little splash park in the afternoon, it was nap time, but I went anyway. And by the time we got home, it was 4:30 p.m. and what was the point?

I figured we'd just power through and get her to sleep a little early. I didn't say anything about the nap but figured she'd be happy.

Well while I was making dinner, Kisae came into the kitchen. "I not nap!" she said, this fact clearly having just dawned on her.

Yeah, I know, I said. Kisae shook her head at me and said: "Silly, Mommy."

Boy clothes, bad guys, Batman and....a mermaid?

Chakisae is not very girlie, in the pink, frilly, dress-wearing kind of way. She likes boy clothes and says, with great pleasure, "I look like a boy!" The blue snake t-shirt and the baggy, faded jean shorts -- both hand-me-downs from Ben -- are among her favorites. And don't you love that pose?

I am not very girlie either (never wear skirts or dresses), but there is a tiny part of me that is bothered by this fashion trend (not sure why, but maybe because I am sensitive to the fact that she/we already stand out and worry the boy-clothes thing makes it worse? I don't know). Still I try to just go with it because what's the point of arguing about clothes? Plus, sometimes things she thinks are "boy clothes" aren't really. Like the polo shirts she loves. They are all girl shirts, with little hearts or flowers on the chest, but she calls them "boy shirts," I guess because Ben and Jim wear polos so often. The newest one she picked out is white with lightening bolts -- red, sparkely bolts, but still a "boy" shirt in her mind.

(as a side note, is it depressing that 3-year-olds already know these gender specifications? That she knows a shirt with gathered sleeves or smocking is a "girl shirt?")

Chakisae is also into "bad guys," though we think this mostly means superheroes. Because if we say which bad guys, she'll say Batman or Spiderman. We've explained they aren't bad, but the message doesn't seem to stick. On vacation, when a sales person at Cracker Barrel asked her if she liked Elmo and Big Bird and the like, she said, "No. I like bad guys." The woman look appalled. Kisae really does like Sesame Street but she is very into bad guys. Whoever they are.

Tell her she looks beautiful and she will say, "I not bootiful! I bad! I like bad guys!"

For weeks, she also was into Batman (Ben has several old Batman costumes, which have no made their way to her dress up box). She said she planned to be Batman for Halloween. Fine, I said. She makes a very cute Batman.

The other day we got a catalog in the mail advertising Halloween costumes. Both kids spent quite a lot of time looking through it. And then Kisae told me she wanted to be ...a Mermaid. A pink one, no less.

Go figure.

My pair, part II

There is a downside to the mutual-adoration thing the kids have going on.

Kisae has taken to bursting into tears if Ben declines her request to play. She's not faking it, but she does seem to resort to crying very quickly when Ben denies her. And he then caves -- reinforcing for her, I fear, that the tears get you what you want.

Ben gets all huffy, if Kisae doesn't want to be all warm and fuzzy with him first thing in the morning. "She doesn't like me!" he'll complain. Good grief.

Kisae also sometimes seems to decide what she wants based on what Ben wants. If I ask her what she wants for breakfast, she might say, "What Ben having?" Though this morning, she asked, but then stuck with her own (different) choice.

Ben also seems to relish in his top-dog status a bit too much sometimes. Sunday late afternoon Kisae asked if we could go to the park. I told Ben we should all go because he'd had a friend over for several hours earlier in the day, so now it was time to do something for her. He didn't want to go and figured he could convince her to stay home. "I'm her best friend, mom, she'll be happy playing at home with me." Hmm.

Still, there's a lot of genuine enjoyment going on, despite the bouts of manipulation.